mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
