thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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