my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
