my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
