is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
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My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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