I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
