Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
