I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
...so i touched it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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