This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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