We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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