plz talk dirty to me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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