how can u be prego again
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
