I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
