ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
