Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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