First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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