i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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