i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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