You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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