Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
