i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
