I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
