"it" just moved
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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