North Korea, Best Korea!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
