of course. lets lasso hookers.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
