In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
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i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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