If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
