spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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