My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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