Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
