Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
