She is in my trunk
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
