apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize