I hate your face
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
