He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
