Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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