Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Randomize
