You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
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You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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