If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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