This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
