So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
