hotel room ftw
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
