Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize