She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
