She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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