put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
