You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize