youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
