you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
