i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize