my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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