We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
