Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle

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(206): View more from Washington

he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.

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(818): View more from California

his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up

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(541): View more from Oregon

he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

Fav 11 3969 1809
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(314): View more from Missouri

It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.

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(260): View more from Indiana

I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.

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(819): View more from Quebec

Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.

Fav 2 217 71
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(704): View more from North Carolina

i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity

(908): View more from New Jersey

**cactuseses

Fav 0 19 45
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