I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
