Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
