He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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