You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
