The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
