yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
