3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize