And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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