where does the pee come out of this thing
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
