I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
