she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
